I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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