i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
My dick has a subreddit
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
