I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
