hell yes lets make some ravioli
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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