Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
