I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
