i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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