my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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