So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
