OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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