Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
