If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
