So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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