i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
