I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
