Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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