I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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