Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
