Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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