And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Dignity is for republicans.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
