So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
