Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
God, I missed his penis.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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