They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
