My balls are so social today.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
