Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
