Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
