Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
