Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
