I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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