There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
