Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
