Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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