there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
