You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
