You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
