Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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