I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
