I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
