What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
