oh god the rape fog is back!
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
