that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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