I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
