I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
