one two three fourrrrnication!
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
