you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
