i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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