either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
tell me about the eggs
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