The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
