We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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