I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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