you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
