conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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