oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
